I’m not talking about when you go to bed at night, falling asleep blissfully content and having a beautiful dream about walking along the beach with George Clooney and waking up with the thoughts and feelings fresh in your mind …..
Although if that’s your dream, and you want to make that happen, then by all means!
No, I’m more thinking about what dreams do you have for yourself. What things would you like to do. What legacy would you like to leave well after you are no longer here.
Those kind of dreams……
A few years back I bought the book, “Your Dream Life Starts Here” written by Kristina Karlsson, founder of Kikki K. I remember it was January, and as usual, I was reassessing everything…..it is almost like a routine for me.
Finish a crazy year at break neck speed and then when I finally have time to stop and think, I literally stop. Think.
Absorb new ideas, and reassess how I want the 12 months to look.
Do I want to continue running my small business?
Should I get a “real job”?
How will we fit in a holiday this year?
How do I be a better parent?
I really should exercise and look after myself more.
ALL the questions!
Anyway……In the book’s introduction, Kristina tells the story about how she felt so frustrated, stuck and how she had no idea about what to do with her life. She craved purpose and direction.
And I could relate to that.
And while I was happy with most aspects of my life, I knew that I was looking for, and wanting more. To have 10 out 10 scores in all areas of life is not a goal of mine because I understand and believe that there are always areas that can be improved.
But how could I figure out what I actually wanted? How did Kristina do it? How do others do it?
Dreaming of your ideal life? Here are 10 questions you can ask yourself right now.
The answers are always in the questions you ask yourself.
Ask great quality questions and you’ll get great quality answers.
Grab a pen and notebook. I recommend that you use a pen and paper, and not the notes on your phone or a word doc on your computer. Neuroscience tells us that you are much more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. And yes, I know we are just talking dreams at the moment but go on! It’s a good habit to get into!
Let’s get started!
1 What makes you happy?
2 What do you love doing?
3 What are your hobbies or interests?
4 What does success look to you?
5 What is something you’ve always wanted to try?
6 What would you do for a career?
7 Where would you live?
8 What experiences would you like to have?
9 How would you like to feel about yourself?
10 Who will you be with?
I’ve got the list, now what?
Now that you’ve got your answers, let’s delve a little deeper. I love the idea of next level questions, questions that create more detail, make it feel much more real. For example, you may have answered question #7 with the name of town as the place you’d like to live. Whereabouts in the town? Close to the centre of town or a bit further out where there is more space? Describe what’s around, what can you see, what can you smell?
If you answered that same question with a specific location and you already have a picture in your mind of what it looks like, explain it a little bit more. With a little bit more detail. What colour cabinets are in your kitchen, what can you see out the window, what plants are in your garden?
The idea is to make it as vivid in your mind as possible. Do not be concerned with how you are going to manifest your dreams or how you can possibly afford it……we will work on the details later. This exercise is just to get your dream.
Grab your note book, start a new page and write at the top of each page your answer and add more detail. Go on, have fun with it! What can you imagine??
It’s at this point that Kristina Karlsson recommends that you start asking other people about their dreams. Now this can be a pretty confronting conversation to have with anyone, but it can also be inspirational and you may even get some new ideas for yourself. The conversation will more than likely turn to your dreams too. Share away I say! The more that we have people talking about and sharing their dreams, the more our brains will work to ensure they come to fruition.
What are the things that could stop you from living your dreams and what you can do instead….
Have you created a list like this before and you feel like it never went any further?
Or perhaps you are scared to make a list for it means you might have to actually follow through?
Here are some possible reasons and what you can do instead:
- You don’t take action. You have lots of great ideas, you write them down, you think about them for a day or two and then you never get back to them. You tell yourself that you will get back to them “one day” but you never do.
- Do this! Pick just one, make a list of two things you can do right now and then do one of them. Action breeds action.
- You don’t hold yourself accountable. You don’t make yourself do what you said you wanted to do.
- Do this! Schedule the second action that you created from the point above and create another action item. Just one action item added each time feels achievable and you will be much more likely to do it. Also scheduling the action gives you added confidence that you will need to actually do what you promised yourself you would do.
- You care too much about what other people will think. People have opinions and most love to share them! I have two pieces of advice here #1 What people think about you is none of your business and #2 If you only realised how little time others spend thinking about you, you would never worry about it!
- Do this! Do it anyway! The only ones that criticise are the ones who have less or do less than you anyway.
- You are too comfortable where you currently are. Did you hear the quote “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it” growing up? Perhaps you use it yourself? Did you know your brain will do everything in it’s power to keep you safe and that means literally stopping you from doing something that it thinks will push you outside your comfort zone.
- Do this! Challenge yourself to do something today that makes you feel really uncomfortable, after all, that is where the growth comes from.
How do you create your ideal life?
This step can be both super scary and great fun. If you can think about it, dream it, imagine it, then you are half way there! You’ve spent the time to make your dreams a reality, and now you get to create it – how cool is that!
Here are my top four tips for making your dreams, your reality.
- Priortise your mindset – just as you exercise your body to make yourself look good and feel good. You also need to do that with your mindset. Ditch the guilt, quieten your mind, do something you really enjoy, spend time with those you care about, journal, spend time outside, anything that sparks your joy.
- Create a plan, take action – The good news is that you’ve already started! If you have spend time writing down what it is you want then the next step is to create the plan and work on making it become a reality. There is no secret formula here but I do feel that the next two points are very important.
- Find a mentor/coach – We all have people in our lives who inspire us. Perhaps you aspire to be like your friend who seems to have no fear or you admire how someone else always finds time to do what they enjoy. The plan is not to play the comparison game but rather to find someone who can coach you, hold you accountable for all the things you say you want to do.
- Surround yourself with like minded individuals – It’s why one of my dreams is to support women to become dreamers, planners, goal setters and achievers. You wouldn’t have the dream if you didn’t already have what it takes to make it happen! Join a community where women are supporting each other to live their own dream life. That collective support will lift everyone.
I hope these tips help you to carve out some time to do a little dreaming. It might seem silly or unachievable but I bet there are some dreams, that you’ve probably held onto for some time, that are just waiting to be discovered and made real.
And I’d love to hear about them! Jump over to Facebook and like my page https://www.facebook.com/jacquihh and if you’d like to be part of the community of people just like you, join “The Purpose Movement“, my private group of amazing women doing amazing things.
Jacqui Hillas 